the lonesome lows don't quite go away overnight

Send me a fandom, and I'll tell you:

• favorite male character: 
• favorite female character: 
• least favorite character: 
• prettiest character: 
• funniest character: 
• favorite season: 
• favorite episode: 
• favorite romantic ship: 
• favorite family ship: 
• favorite friend ship: 
• worst ship:

Census Meme

1981: I won't be born for another four years. Family is moving around the Southern US, mom as a teacher, my dad as a city administrator for different small cities. They finally settle in Missouri.

> 1986: I'm one! Only child, happy. I like to organize things. I'm best friends with my mom's friend's kids: Matthew and Brian. I love my girl cousins, especially the one a tiny bit older than me.

1991: I'm six years old. I've got two little brothers - one a year old, and I'm a little mother hen. We've moved to Chesterfield, the house I grow up in, and my mom stays at home with us. School is epic, and I want to be a teacher/ballerina/scientist/writer (though I don't start really writing for a few more years). I stop believing in Santa when I see my dad carrying gifts.

> 1996: Eleven years old. Obsessed with writing. I get sent to the principals office for daydreaming in science class and drawing (in pen) on another girl's coat. Girl Scouts is awesome, but I'm not crazy about my troop. I'm pretty sure my parents are going to get divorced. I'm not upset at the prospect. I'm excited and anxious to meet new people when my school splits and only half of us go on to the middle school.

2001: I'm sixteen, and miserable. High school is slightly less awful than Middle School, but I'm in the depths of depression. My brother is diagnosed with bi-polar and Aspergers, and he tries to kill himself after running at my other brother with a knife. I alternate between fierce protection of my sister and being terribly annoyed with her intrusions into my life. My parents are divorced, but my dad lives only minutes away in a tiny apartment. My sister and I share the sleeper sofa on the weekends we're there. I have my first girlfriend, online. My parents find out. Everything is awful.

> 2006: Twenty-one! I end up spending my birthday doing laundry. I'm at college, living with a roommate I dig most of the time. I have a pretty solid group of friends on campus. I watch more TV a week than is healthy, and write constantly. I've still never been kissed, but I start dating a girl I really like (within driving distance!). I'm an active member of the GSA and our literary magazine. I'm diagnosed with epilepsy, after a long journey including an emergency hospital trip. I try not to think about home.

2011: I'm not-quite-graduated from grad school. I live with my best friend Julie not far from my first apartment. My derby league is a year old. I'll be 26 this year. I'm a receptionist at an office supply company. I'm single. I spend time reading and writing and watching, still, a lot of television. Julie is getting married, and my two other best friends are moving away. I'm actually not too depressed about it. Most of the time.

The bout went really well. Hosting is always a flurry of activity and last-minutes, but it pulled together (minus a brief snafu of drama, one that I think will be resolved soon) and we made the other team work HARD for their 20 point win. Considering the last time we played them we lost by over 100? We did fucking awesomely. I'm so proud of everyone, and proud to be a member of such an incredible team.

As far as I know, the only serious injury goes out to my wife, who coached. She jumped on her bad knee, sending it back about three months in healing.

Such a huge expenditure of energy left me feeling vulnerable, however. I've spent the past two nights sobbing in my dreams. Saturday, it was wave after wave of rejection, judgment, and being left behind/out. Last night, I suppose the tears were more of joy, with a darkness behind them.

--

Have a meme: cast the movie of my life, based solely on how I come across emotionally to you (so, forget any pictures you've seen, not that I look like any celebs). You can also cast the co-stars: my wife, my sister, prozacpark , damariscain  and her wife Laura.

--

Let me tell you about my dream from last night. I don't remember chronologically, so bits and pieces.
- My mother told me she almost disowned me when I came out. (this kind of colored the rest of the dream)
- I found out a number of celebrities were gay: Kristin Chenowith performed a song from Wicked (with a female co-star) ending with a kiss by a Christmas tree, for a family audience. In a question-and-answer session afterwards, I told her how much it meant to me, to be presented with the possibility of belonging. Dakota Fanning (future!Dakota Fanning, she was older) was topless under overalls (surprisingly hot, or not surprisingly at all) and her nipples were pierced and she confessed to a small group that she was a homosexual. (Of course, even in the dream I couldn't quite believe this. One part of me sure it was to get lesbian fans, and the other part fiercely protective of her secret.) There was also a book of photos of famous lesbian couples. I don't remember most, but Anne Hathaway had a girlfriend.
- I think I watched a little too much Oscars.

--

This muggy, perpetually rainy weather is killing me.

Say These Words: Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting Image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught

Now answer these questions:

What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
What is the bug that when you touch it, curls into a ball?
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called? (I clearly have very strong feelings about this subject.)
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you change the TV channel with?

A bunch of these are for Yuletide NYR, as much as I've fallen out with Yuletide this year the prompts are delicious.

[Poll #1663656]

On livejournal:

--> intoabar: Pick a character who walks into a bar, get assigned a random character from a fandom of your listing who they meet. Write a fic about it. Gen, het, fem... whatever. Signups are open. (Also on DW)

--> femslash_planet: I'm on team sweeps. Having a stupid amount of fun so far and all I've done is plan a project and do a wordsearch.

RP:

Playing as Bianca from Degrassi. Love me some conflicted feelings, and hello powerplay. (Yes, I ship her with Adam, and yes, I'd probably ship her with anyone, given the screen time. But not Alli. Bleh.)

IRL:

::crickets:: OH YEAH WE PLAYED OUR FIRST BOUT. IT WAS AWESOME AND WE LOST SO HARD BUT IT WAS THE BEST DAY EVER.

I've been having complex partial seizures for around a month now, and mostly didn't realize it, but lately I've been ignoring them or filing them in my brain as "weird space-out moments" when I, experienced seize-ee as I am, should have recognized first go around what these were, despite their shortness and frequency.

The first time I remember noticing was during practice scrimmage with SIRG. I couldn't "get my head in the game" and I kept thinking about that awful High School Musical song. The lights were strange.

Then, lately, while driving, I've had full body "hiccups" where I phase out and in, and within minutes, repeat the process. Now, the action has increased (but not in danger, I suppose) to phasing while sitting at work. Three times (I counted) from arrival at 8am until this writing at 10:30.

Within this period, I missed my medication one day, but if the SIRG scrimmage date is the same seizure, than this is not the cause. Also, I do not recall any incidents occurring on or directly after that day.  They feel almost like I am falling asleep and then being jerked awake--there is an electric current that zooms through my body and I come out of the phase. I suppose these blinks last only seconds, but I have not seen myself have one, so they could be longer.

I was talking to Angela about trying to find a safe way to get to work, assuming they don't let up on their own this weekend. She wondered what might be the cause of them, since I am on my medication. I suggested stress, since there seems to be no other potential answer, and I can't bear to entertain the thought that roller derby could be involved (in fact, I think that epilepsy patients are encouraged to be involved in physical activity...)

In any case, stress is a big part of my life. Despite being out of school and largely done with my graduate program, I have not, in fact, graduated. At some point, I will have a thesis to complete--that is not off the shelf. Of course, that is taking a back burner to my current projects.

I work from 8-5 every weekday. My job is not wholly demanding, but it does keep me occupied. I constantly take calls and field them to roughly 25 offices and three businesses in the building. I am the face of the company. I file incoming service calls. I log service calls that have been completed, and reported numbers for each machine. I am supposed to know where every member of the business is at all times to be able to reach them fastest. A mistake that I make could affect the paycheck of another.

While I work, I attempt to RP. This keeps me up on writing skills and socialization. It is also fun, but sometimes topics and even my characters can become overwhelming. While the experience itself is worthwhile, on top of everything else I do, it can be a bit much.

I try to keep roller derby out of the work day, but as the Web Coordinator, sometimes it just makes sense to update Facebook or Twitter during my free moments at work. All work on the forum or website, however, must be done at home because of my limited work resources. All of my practice hours are logged after 5pm, in a rush to change clothes and get to where I'm going--whether that be in Cape (the A.C. Brase Arena) or Marion/Carbondale. 

Nights off? Spent working on derby, discussing derby, meeting about derby, or occasionally, sitting at home, watching television, and talking about roller derby. Understandable, considering derby is the one connection through which I know my new friends, and there is a LOT to talk about, especially in this season when we are planning, planning, planning for two upcoming bouts and really getting off the ground, but constantly cycling through the same things and hacking apart the same issues can't be good for stress.

Weekends are usually derby-soaked as well. Last weekend, I found myself volunteering for two separate babysitting jobs simply to get away from the immersion culture for awhile. And, yes, while those jobs came with their own set of stresses, it was nice to get a bit of head clearing. I spent more time with them than I had to.

Thursday Itself:
Stress-- Back to work after being sick, messed up service tickets, Lura discussion at bar, hair
Remedy-- took it easy at work, hair therapy, alcohol
Food-- Culver's Butterburger w/cheese, fries, rootbeer float, mixed drink, 6 wings, fries
Sleep-- 1am-7:30am

Hi guys! I don't want the ~wrong impression~ to start circulating about me, so despite being honest and up front all over the place, I figured I would go ahead and post here.

-- Skins season 4 is shitting all over my dreams. It is pretentious and bullshit. The fact that they had to make up a whole contrived plotline just to keep things going another measly eight episodes is absolutely ridiculous.

-- After two episodes, I'm so angry/done with Emily that I can't even see straight. Mention Emily on my journal and you just might get de-friended. Not joking.

-- The only characters I care about are Naomi (half for the lulz, half cause she's still in character!), Katie, Cook, and maybe JJ-- we'll see if I can be assed once his episode comes around.

-- Writing fic, for me, does not mean I'm fucking flailing around over this show. It's a method of deconstruction. Which this show needs. I am NOT FLAILING OVER THIS SHOW. In fact, you all might have to forgive me if I unfriend those of you who are, because it's making me pissy--no offence to the OPs.

-- And, like, just for the record: I spent probably a total of 45 minutes yesterday laughing my ass off over how fucking ridiculous this show is. So yeah. I'm not exactly the number one fan of this season.

...unfriend at will.

( Read more... )
Day 5: Favorite Quote
"Suck it, Nerds!" (Liz Lemon, 30 Rock)

Day 6: Whatever tickles my fancy
*made by violet4120
This tickles my fancy. And other things.

http://www.avclub.com/articles/the-best-tv-series-of-the-00s,35256

So, this list made me mad. I found it incredibly narrow in focus and really Ameri-centric (not that a list of my own making wouldn't suffer the same problems). I'm going to run a poll and hopefully come up with a top 10 or 30 shows of the 2000s. Comment with your nominations, including any shows mentioned in the poll. Any genres are acceptable, as long as they ran for at least a technical season during the 2000s (being canceled during said season still leaves them eligible). Number of nominations will not effect the first round of voting.

Nominations will run until November 21.

Making this public so it has the chance of being unbiased, therefore I ask you NOT to pimp it to any fandom communities. However, please do link it to friends with varying tastes.