the lonesome lows don't quite go away overnight

Movies:
- Strange Way of Life dir. Almodovar. Pedro Almodovar is almost a genre in himself, right? I liked this, though there is a rumor that Ethan Hawke smells like urine, and I couldn't stop thinking about it because he looks like he smells like urine.
- I Saw the TV Glow dir. Jane Schoenbaum. I have no idea how to talk about this film, because so many others are doing a great job. My god, this made me feel everything and is still making me feel everything. It is about my teenagehood, my fandom, my autism, my gender. I rarely attend a film and feel like it was made for me, but Jane Schoenbaum is making films for me. 

TV Seasons:
- Star Wars: Clone Wars, s7. The show brought it home! I found season 7 really engaging. There was so much less Anakin! <3 I know Ashoka (the series) is Not Great, but I thought the finale of CW actually fed really well into that series. We're going to do X-Men and X-Men 97 and then probably head back around and do Rebels. 

Actual Play:
- The finale of season one of the Periodic Talks podcast (now defunct, sadly) has Gillian Jacobs playing D&D with her co-host, Erika Ishii, and others. I am saying that is qualifies for this category because godddamnit I make the rules. Hilariously, Gillian lands in a similar character to the role she usually plays on Comedy Bang Bang. I liked it. 

Albums:
- Allison Ponthier, Breaking the Fourth Wall (EP). Really feels like a blooming or emerging, end of a 3-EP cycle (per Ponthier herself). I love the blend of genres here, where it felt like the blend wasn't quite gelled (or just wasn't quite my thing) previously.
- Henri Bardot, Throwing, Part 1 (EP). Instrumental. Bardot is artist Miel's brother, and I like his sensitbilities whether working with Miel, working on his own vocal material, or here, primarily piano. 
- I Saw the TV Glow soundtrack. Schoenbaum used a chunk of budget to commission original songs, landing at a 90s television soundtrack that was made in 2024. Some tracks keep smacking me in the face. 

Recipes:
- I've made several but not logged them. Oops.
- Mini meatloaves. Total meal cost was like $8 and enough to feed everyone, even if the young ones didn't want to try. Win for me. 

I've had a bit of a tough time determining that I have anything to say lately, I've been trying to keep my head down and live, basically. As this is a public post, I'll keep the personal out of it and focus on some media. 

Books
I've started reading the 20th anniversary version of Heir to the Empire, inspired by Delusions of Grandeur podcast. As represented there, it holds up well, and reading the author's commentary is really engaging, especially regarding what Zahn was and wasn't allowed to do. It is slow going because I'm out of practice for fiction, but enjoyable. 

Movies
Finally (after over a year of obsessing over it) rented We're All Going to the World's Fair from the library. Not sure I would have gotten the trans dialogue without reading interviews and commentary, but the movie is richer with it. Even without it, what a FEAST. The lead actress (on screen for almost the entire runtime) is beyond incredible. It as so much to say about the experience of coming of age online, and while I was never a YouTube person, I felt myself acutely represented. It is also very much a first narrative feature, but I'm incredibly hopeful that Shoenbrun's next film works out some of the kinks. I'm absolutely ready to make I Saw the TV Glow my entire personality in a way that I haven't felt about media in awhile. 

After browsing a few services I also followed a whim to watch The Nightingale (The Babadook director's sophomore feature) despite previously deciding that I wouldn't do so. It turns out that past me was by far the wiser. The film is exponentially worse than I had expected, even with fast forwarding through the three (THREE) prolonged rape scenes. There's a narrative racism that I don't think Kent even has any idea that she's perpetrating that really made me sick. DNF, but read up on the ending, and it goes exactly where it telegraphs it is going to. Is there some art here? Maybe? But it feels so much rougher than The Babadook, and makes clear that the psychological broad strokes there are more or less endemic to Kent's filmmaking. 

Television
Our Flag Means Death season 2 was ultimately so disappointing. Ashoka wasn't very good. But Deadloch, DEADLOCH was excellent. I'll take it. 

Podcasts
I'm very much mourning the end of "Baby Geniuses," but have found a few nice shows to pad out my listening profile, including "A Colossal Waste of Time," a Homestuck recap podcast from a 2024 perspective, "The Popcast" with Knox and Jamie, and "Text Me Back!" with Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays. 

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It has been a nice uplift to make plans. So far, I've secured a babysitter (and tickets, mostly) for Love Lies Bleeding opening weekend, I Saw the TV Glow opening night, Chappell Roan's solo tour stop in St. Louis, and a family trip to Table Rock Lake. 

I'm not doing great at the Internet right now, including dropping my summerofhorrorexchange assignment, which, as a rule, I don't do. I still have no idea what I would write, if I were aiming to finish it. Got nothing. 

That said, lots of new media stuffs to talk about. 

Movies (14/15)
Last Night in Soho: Look, I'm not saying that men can't make movies about women (or whatever other gender distribution you care for) but I'm pretty sure THIS man (Wright) shouldn't make movies about THESE women. One of whom is clearly t( spoilers )

Cha Cha Real Smooth: This one had me won over for about an hour before reality set in and I fucking hate this guy, but also, I still kind of love him and WHY is Dakota Johnson so hot and moving when her character isn't written AT ALL. Probably the biggest gap between how much I liked it while watching (I LIKED IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS) and post-watch thoughts. I just wish we had a movie that's actually about a guy being good at hosting parties for tweens, or a movie about Dakota (Domino? WAS HER NAME ACTUALLY DOMINO YOU GUYS?) and Lola. Also, is the Jewish culture totally different around here, because I was never invited to a single bar or bat mitzvah, and yet somehow the girl no one wanted around her her mother who none of the parents liked (????) were invited to every single one. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

TV Seasons (10/10)
The Clone Wars, season 2. Getting steadily better, but Anakin is still Anakin and space battles are still fucking boring. 

Full Album Listens (9/10)
Soccer Mommy, Sometimes, Forever: Grungier and stickier than color theory, with roughly the same repeatable tracks. Less cohesive as an album, but I like the sound just a smidge better, and love the sonic evolution. The guitar and bass here are chef's kiss.

Metric, Formentera: After giving a cold hard pass to their last album, I was planning to skip this one as well. I even tried the opening track, the 10-minute art piece "Doomscroller" and quit in a panic because, well, I was having a mild anxiety attack. NPR convinced me to try again, and "Doomscroller" is worth the initial angst. Around the middle minutes it transforms and the journey is worth it. I don't plan on listening to the song ever again, to be honest, but I'm glad I did. There are a few tracks on the rest of the album (title track included) that are really, really great. 

Recipes (goal met)
Slow Cooker Jambalaya Risotto: Good flavor, needed more heat and for the rice not to be overcooked. Sad.

Creamy, Cherry Tomato Garlic Pasta: A+ LOVE a savory cream sauce. (Got this one from Instragram)

TV Seasons (8*/10)

American Song Contest, season 1. Watched every episode whereas with Eurovision we only watched the Grand Final. I think I like having the additional context of more exposure to the songs, but whew, the quality is just not there guys. I mean, the finale was pretty solid? But starting with 56(?) acts was ROUGH. Still hoping for a season 2 that figures itself out a little more. 

Star Wars: Clone Wars, season 1. We're into season 2 now and it is SO much better, aside from Padme and Anakin who are both still not good, but it just shows how on the rudimentary side season 1 is. Everything wrong with the prequels is still wrong here - WHY IS PADME DATING THIS ASSHOLE? Why is the Jedi Counsel SO POOPY? Why didn't X Jedi use their powers in X scene? Because of plot, that's why.

Our Flag Means Death, season 1.* Asterisk because technically it makes 9, but I'm not counting rewatches separately. Still enjoyed most of it. Still have zero desire to do anything fannish with it. Jim and Edward and John and Olu and Jackie and Frenchie are all very pretty. 

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Tomorrow we're going to see MEN (movie). Having our donor babysit feels like cheating at childcare. I have read negative reviews and mediocre reviews and, I'm sorry, it still just sounds like precisely my shit. 

Also tomorrow I'm making a proper following-the-recipe version of Shrimp Pasta Primavera and I have been fantasizing about sauteing asparagus. I usually make it without tomato, so I am Far Too Excited to try it with. 

We're over halfway through Yellowjackets season one, and I have to say, if you watched the trailers and thought "well, this might be my thing, but I'm not sure" I am here to tell you that it very much is your thing. Melanie Lynskey is absolutely magnetic, and I love many of these damaged bubble babies. My only complaint so far is that it frequently doesn't go quite hard enough. I am looking forward to that in season two, though!

Other new starts are Call the Midwife and Clone Wars. Turns out I really love traumatic birth, and there are worse things to pass the time. 

Phoebe Bridgers is touring again and against all logic and budgeting (especially with gas up) I bought a ticket to a venue 5-6 hours away. Thankfully a friend halfway between agreed to let me crash, but I'm very much still going, what are you thinking. 

Spent more or less the last 24 hours way too upset about Arrow for my level of investment. I'm only watching Sara's episodes, but of course, that leads to growing attached to others, and... there's something about characters that the writers don't know what to do with (cough Ann Perkins) that triggers the sads in a major way.

Trying to combat the sads with the Rogue One trailer lead to tears. But happy tears? I expect the franchise is front-loading us with incredible ladies to make room for Han Solo and Boba Fett and blah blah whatever, but at least for now, I am a happy Star Wars fan.

I've been listening to a bunch of podcasts and wanted to update with a few more I'm really liking. Stuff You Missed in History Class and Stuff Your Mom Didn't Tell You are filling a void I didn't know I wanted filled. AFAIK the hosts are all white, cis ladies (basic research doesn't inform me differently) but the discussions about race and disability seem quite nuanced and don't take shortcuts where it would be easy to skip over details. Obviously, YMMV, and I'm new to these so there could be massive issues I just haven't hit yet.

I'm considering getting the entire set of the Paul F. Tompcast because I find PFT utterly delightful and his voice work gives me so much joy... but the entire show has background piano and... electronic blip noises that really make it a struggle to understand. (Its a cognization thing... my brain wants to jump to the tiny noises and forgets that there are voices communicating information.) Note to self: find more PFT podcasts without blips.

This post is all over the place, but I also wanted to put down in words how much I appreciate Brooklyn Nine-Nine's treatment of Melissa Fumero. Not only have they used visual obfuscation to allow her to have totally unchanged screentime while pregnant, but they went out of their way to let her be pregnant on the show without consequences! Obviously, this method can't work for all types of shows, but man. I appreciate it. Not that B99 is without problems (the big ones being disability representation and spirit animals) but it is because of things like this that I'm willing to stick around and see how they grow.

General Likes: Ladies! Neuro-atypicality! Relationships that don't necessarily hinge on sexuality! Everyday moments/domesticity! Character development! Lit/pretentious-fic (clarification: I don't consider it pretentious, but I've seen some authors self-label that way). Dialogue. Women holding their own, defending themselves. Cuddles. So many cuddles. 

Hard lines: Please warn/note for rape, abuse, drugs, graphic violence, disordered eating. As long as they are noted, including them is fine. I just like a head's up.

Specific Requests: I would love character-focused shipping, more action-y case/fight shipping, family drama, femslash, incest, pre-canon, during-canon, post-canon for ANY of these.

Star Wars: Princess Leia (Comics) - Evann/Leia
I would love some trope-y cuddle-for-warmth/misunderstood-alien-custom type adventures. One of the things I love about the comics (and the YA novel) is that Leia actually gets some space to grieve and process her massive loss. If you're feeling really ambitious, seeing Evann pop up again in TFA-era would be awesome too!

Star Wars (Movies) - Han/Leia/Luke
For these crazy kids, I'd prefer sticking to pre-TFA timelines. Post-Jedi is cool, but I'd rather not get into what the next movie might cover. There's more than enough ADORABLE SHENANIGANS to go around. Trope-y things are more than welcome. What-if AUs are sweeeet. I'm pretty strongly a "Leia in the middle of the triangle" girl, but not opposed to some Han/Luke side action as long as Leia's into it. 
Star Wars (Movies) - Leia/Luke
I feel like this should be obvious, but you never know, so, I'm really NOT into AUs where they aren't related. Timeline can be before the reveal, of course, but... I hope that if you offered to write Leia/Luke you were down with it. ANYWAY. All of the adorable, trope adventures during classic trilogy times, awkward feelings, awkward boners... And if you want to go TFA here, I would LOVE to see them reunite, grieve, help each other pull through. Some found-family, co-parenting type future would also make me so happy!
Star Wars (Movies) - Finn/Poe/Rey
As long as everyone has freedom of choice, I am completely flexible about the arrangement of this V or triangle. I've seen so many headcanons that absolutely kill me with joy, but a few that I'm PARTICULARLY into: emphasizing age difference, Finn and Rey experience (x) for the first time, culture clashes, Finn and Rey don't understand why (x) is socially taboo/normal. Group makeouts, snuggles... it is all pure gold. PURE GOLD.
Star Wars (Movies) - Rey/Female Resistance Fighter
Specific characters I would be excited to see Rey bond/talk/cuddle/kiss with: Lieutenant Connix, General Organa... anyone else who we see briefly but don't know much about (unless you novelization! Break out any of them!). I'd also be into a more OC-style resistance fighter. Someone with a very different background would be preferred -- maybe someone who is confident in areas where Rey is uncertain or uncomfortable.
Star Wars (Movies) - Jessika Pava/Rey
JUST FUCK ME UP. I don't know. I am so here for anything. ANYTHING. Well, except maybe coffee shop or high school AUs. No, that's a lie. High school AU would be my JAM. ANYTHING. (Including any combo of Finn/Poe/Rey on the side is cool.) BB-8 ships Rey with happiness. This is canon.

Jessica Jones - Jessica/Trish
Can I say JUST FUCK ME UP for this one, too? God... ANY phase of their life together. TROPE THIS SHIT UP. Existing or side Jessica/Luke is totally welcome, but please as little Simpson as possible, and Killgrave is obviously a part of their story but NOT A ROMANTIC ONE. File under things I hope I don't need to clarify. Okay, more positive ideas. I'd love to see Trish go more Hellcat, happy superheroines AU... baby bisexual kids... ANYTHING.

If you have not seen elsewhere, rarewomen is now rarelywritten  and celebrates the inclusion of all marginalized genders and sexes. Please join/subscribe as you like! We also have a mirroring tumblr for that crowd.


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In recent fic business, I wrote And for many a time I have been in love (Star Wars, Luke/Leia/Han) for holly_poly , and I've been working on a claim for femslash100  (Orphan Black, ten different pairings) here.

Be well!