not with a bang

I'm pretty sure that every one at work hates me. A few of them say stuff like I'm a good receptionist, or hello, but they always talk in the hallways and look at each other and I know they are talking about me and what a horrible job I am doing and things to add to the list of the things I've done wrong and they are going to show it to me on the day they fire me, and I won't even know what they were, because they only told me three things at my review and I'm working on those, but they won't tell me anything else, and Jenny says I'm doing fine, but Brad keeps giving me these looks and telling me the most basic stupid things to do and I know how to do my job doesn't he know that?

And now everyone on derby hates me because I ruined the practice schedule for September and October which are the only important practice months for our bouts and now we don't have anywhere to practice or we'll have to practice with so ill or to pay a lot extra for some secondary practice space which we haven't even found yet and the worst thing is that we have a group of new girls starting in this chaos and we don't even have a place for them and it just reaffirms that i shouldn't even be on the board, let alone co-president. behind a computer screen is one thing, i can't do any damage there, just follow directions.

I keep crying at my desk and this doesn't look good for my sanity (the little welling up kind not the big boo hoo kind)