tw: fuckery

[aphrodite_mine]

Totally reeling from a series of nightmares last night. I came home and took a nap, because sometimes I just need to recharge after a long week, picked up T from work, came back and watched a bit of TV and then went back to sleep. Fast forward to 4AM and I'm suddenly awake, screaming. T peers in, asks if I'm okay. According to her, it was a full-blown scream. She was freaked out.

 Read on if you want to, however warning for mental illness triggers, continued Parks & Recreation mindfuck, pregnancy triggers, and gore/death. Not -- thankfully -- all at once.

Part one:

Dream-me watches Parks & Rec after reading a satisfying recap of Thursday's ep (real me really, really, wants to go back, but I keep crying when I think about it) and it turns out that Ann is struggling so hard with her lesbian panic over Leslie and April that she's developing OCD. This is, naturally, played for laughs. On the one hand, I'm super pumped that the show is finally acknowledging that Ann isn't 100% straight, but WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Also, various characters begin to realize what is happening and exploit it just to see Ann count her actions.

Part two:
I'm recruited to be a surrogate mother for an awesome couple (ugh, thanks Suburgatory for this plotline. Fuck you.) and finally get pregnant (is it really surrogacy if the dude bangs you?). The test reveals that I'm way farther along than I should be and shit hits the fan. (Aaand I blame my late period for this part.) Couple is not happy, baby-daddy is not happy, and I am not happy. Turns out, I lose the baby ANYWAY. (Fuckfuckfuckfuck.) Then couple breaks up, and reforms into two groups of three, one of which I'm a part of, who decide to have babies. Which leads to...

Part three:
Me and woman (looks like a cross between Alison Brie and Rashida Jones) and dude (who later morphs into a guy from work, idk idk) decide that I'm the one who'll get pregnant, since I've done it before. I REALLY REALLY want the baby, and I'm crying whenever we do the tests, etc. (Um, I have a bajillion issues with pregnancy, apparently.) Then, just when I find out I'm pregnant, we discover a lion-type animal (and this is the gross part) literally shitting out his vital organs. It seems the beast has been bitten by a snake (?) and quelle shock and horror, our man has as well. His symptoms are delayed, but sure enough, he's in really bad shape. With the shitting out of vital organs and all. Damnit! He was our source of income, lol. Also, he's shitting out vital organs, which generally sucks. We try to get him to a doctor, but turns out 911 says its just a matter of waiting to die. So, we get him a ride on a truck, because wow, we really don't want to be a part of this, with two other fatally ill dudes, and this kid is driving them, basically just... until they die, and I'm crying and everyone is crying, and at the bottom of the hill the truck flips over and everyone dies.

... Yay?

Comments

[summerstorm]

I've been having some weird-ass nightmares involving death lately too. Usually my nightmares are more about just the unsettling/frightened feeling than bad things happening (in fact, a lot of the time when bad things happen in my dreams, they don't FEEL like nightmares). This morning I dreamed that I was sharing a huge dorm room with like four other people and there was this weird disconnect between my dream-brain and my dream-self, because when two of those people died, my dream-brain was like, well, I should have seen that coming, they didn't even get names, even though my dream-self had nicknamed them Cato and Clove for reasons I do not remember.

Yesterday morning's was even weirder and it turned out that nobody had died or was going to die, it was just that this group of people had engineered a whole town (or at least a whole school?) to mimic an apocalyptic war zone or something... but my dream-self and the people she was with didn't realize that until much later, after several people had dropped presumably dead from poisoned chocolate among other things, and even that was just a theory by the time I woke up.

So, what I'm saying is. Stuff sucks. Unsettling dreams are worse than not sleeping. I'm sorry about your subconscious. :(

[aphrodite_mine]

At least with a lot of mine I can identify what they're coming from. Anxiety over loving a show but not willing to get my heart stomped on again. A freaking late period. And... I guess... leaving people behind by moving... is like killing them?

It's scary when your subconscious obviously thinks things are much worse than they are.

I just hope mine (and yours!) don't become repeats. When I was in high school, I had nightmares about being raped almost every night for two years.

[summerstorm]

I've always had a semi-phobia of the apocalypse, but it hasn't been triggered by anything lately, so I'm not sure what this is about. Unless it's a month-late reaction to my reading the Hunger Games; the apocalyptic war zone dream had a ton of Hunger Games references, down to my cat having been kidnapped and genetically engineered to talk in a creepy mechanical way and spy on us (at which realization I went, "He's a JABBERJAY," but at least nobody suggested getting rid of him?) (us was a bunch of people I didn't know personally and Skylar from Idol, though before the chocolate-related deaths the group I was with also included the girls who played Glimmer and Clove on the THG movie). I guess I've been freaking out at night about how I'm not doing anything with my life, which explains the dorm room setting and the fact that the apocalyptic war zone nightmare started with a school evacuation.

I hope so too! That sounds awful. I've (fortunately) never had repeat nightmares regularly or obviously enough to call them that.

[aphrodite_mine]

Yeah, definitely the first thing I thought when I read your dream was The Hunger Games!

[majesdane]

Um, that sounds pretty fucking awful. Considering last night I dreamt a girl I played field hockey with in college met me at our homecoming game later this year and confessed she'd always been in love with me. Which was really weird, given who this girl is.

Idk. Yours is so much worse. D:

[aphrodite_mine]

::clings hard::

[st_aurafina]

*hugs your poor head* That's some very distressing stuff bubbling up there.

[aphrodite_mine]

*head receives hug, mellows*

[prunesquallormd]

Even reading that it was obviously incredibly distressing (and nightmares so rarely seem so when they're related back).
*hugs*
I really hope you haven't had any recurrences since.
<3

[aphrodite_mine]

After a few nights of being afraid to go to sleep I haven't had any issues. YAY!